Helping Children Cope with Divorce

 Posted on August 05, 2016 in Divorce

Parents going through divorce do not intentionally set out to hurt their children. Unfortunately, this is exactly what happens when bitterness, anger, depression, and contention become a regular part of the child's life. This can ultimately lead to all kinds of maladjustment problems, many of which last long into the child's adult years. In contrast, parents who focus on the needs of their child often come out on the other side with a happy, healthy, well-adjusted child. Strive for the latter by learning how to help your child cope during a divorce.

Minimize Conflict and Negativity

For years, it was thought that divorce itself was the cause of maladjustment among children. However, recent studies have revealed that it is actually the conflict and negativity between and from parents that causes emotional, behavioral, and mental problems often experienced by children of divorce. In light of this, parents should take every precaution they can to ensure their child is not caught in the middle. Keep arguments and heated discussions private and out of earshot. Above all else, never blame or talk badly of your spouse around your child. Remember that your child loves both of you. Speaking negatively about your spouse can make your child feel wrong or guilty for having those feelings, or it can cause them to become bitter toward you.

Communicate with Your Child

One of the biggest predictors in how well children adjust after divorce is how well their parents communicate with them during the process. Children need to know what to expect, how things will change, and what things will be like in the coming weeks, months, and years. Even more important is letting them know how things will not change.

Assure your child that they are not at fault, that they are still loved by both parents, and that, no matter how things change, both parents will continue to be an active part of their lives. Also remember that listening is a key component of communication. Give your child a chance to talk about their feelings and voice their concerns. It could make all the difference.

Facilitate Involvement from Both Parents

It is not enough to promise that you and your spouse will continue to be a part of your child's life; you have to back those words up with action. They need to see you communicating and working together to ensure they get time with each of you. They also need to know that you will follow through when you make a commitment. For example, if you told your child that you and your spouse would both be there to support them during a recital but then have a bitter argument, avoid the temptation to skip out. The argument will be there another time, but your child will only have this recital once in their lives.

Contact an Experienced Joliet, IL Family Law Attorney Today

At the Law Offices of Cosmo Tedone and Barbara Morton, P.C., we have more than 60 years of experience in helping families navigate the complex matters of divorce and child-related matters. We offer empathy, personalized care, and exceptional problem-solving skills to ensure that you and your family reach the most favorable outcome possible. To learn more about how our skilled Joliet, IL family law attorneys can help with your divorce, schedule an initial consultation today. Call 815-666-1285.

Source:

http://kidshealth.org/en/parents/help-child-divorce.html