Parental Conflict During Divorce Should Never Eclipse a Child's Needs

 Posted on January 05, 2017 in Child Custody in Illinois

While about 70 percent of divorcing couples are able to go their separate ways once the paperwork is finalized, another 30 percent have children together. For them, divorce is not the end of communication. Instead, it is the start of a new sort of relationship. - a co-parenting one.  To do it successfully, they must coordinate schedules and maintain at least some level of contact to ensure their child's physical, emotional, financial, and health-related needs are met. How, exactly, do they manage this, and why should they? The following explains.

What the Research Says About Parenting After Divorce

Scientists, child psychologists, and other specialists have spent years gathering and analyzing data on children of divorce. In their research, they have found that children tend to do best when they have a close and healthy relationship with both parents. Even more interesting is that, despite common theory, it is not divorce that causes distress in young children. Instead, it is the relationships within the family. Contentious situations can create problems for children, but children with parents who find a way to get along often adjust better in difficult situations. This includes situations involving divorce. So, regardless of what parents are going through - no matter how they feel about one another - each can best serve their child by working hard to develop a healthy co-parenting relationship. Further, parents should mind their manners, so to speak, whenever their child is around. They should avoid speaking negatively about the other parent, resist the urge to let their feelings of jealousy show when their child returns from a visit, and should, above all, encourage a love and a healthy relationship between their child and the other parent.

Managing Your Emotions During the Divorce Process

You can know what the research says about divorce, and you can move forward with the best of intentions. You might even be able to stave off any anger, frustration, hurt, or feelings of betrayal for a while. Undoubtedly, though, you are going to have to deal with your own emotions. They may get out of hand, and likely at the worst possible moment. You might struggle one week with really missing your child. Alternatively, your spouse may make a parenting decision that really upsets you, and you may want to react. If and when you do start to feel out of sorts, it is important to first remember that you are human, and stress can make people act in ways we normally would not. Second, recognize this situation for what it is. You are going through an emotionally difficult process. You need support and time to care for yourself. Use the time your child is away to nurture yourself. Talk to friends, family, fellow divorcees, a therapist, or go to a support group. Find what helps you so that you can help your child.

Our Joliet Divorce Lawyers Can Help Reduce the Stress

If you are preparing for divorce and unsure of where to turn, The Law Offices of Tedone and Morton, P.C. is the name to remember. Able to handle the legal details of your divorce, we can help reduce your stress levels so that you can focus on everyday life. Compassionate, experienced, and understanding of the situation you are facing, we prioritize the best interests and needs of you and your child. Call 815-666-1285 to schedule your consultation with our Joliet divorce lawyers today. Source:

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865669998/What-the-research-says-on-parenting-after-divorce.html